Passionate Instigator, Dynamic Problem Solver
February 19th, 2014 05:00:00 am
What do you find yourself saying to your child these days? Do your actions tell them a different story? Do you tell them they are loved, yet find little time to spend with them? Is that time spent exploring who they are, or is it spent telling them why they are wrong or bad? Do you tell them that they should never lie, and let them hear you lie? Do you tell them to be kind, but they witness you when you aren't?
Do you encourage children to stand up? To be proud of who they are? To be themselves? Do you drug them when they aren't what you or the school system thinks they should be?
At the very least, be honest with children. Tell them that possessions and stature are more important than they are. Let them know that, no matter the cost, you want them to be someone they can be proud of. Let them know that fitting in and losing themselves are more important than rocking the boat, staying true to yourself, or fighting for what you believe in.
Be honest; don't be a hypocrite. Don't confuse children; let them know that you never did the work to fix the issues from your own childhood. That they get to play out all of your insecurities and other dysfunctions that you avoided. Be up front with the fact that you had children not to guide, support, advocate, and fight for them, but because you were “supposed to” have kids. Let them know that the burden to make you look good is now on their shoulders. At least you are being honest in the long run, because children will listen, watch, and learn. And maybe, just maybe, they won't do to their children what you did to them.